i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize