The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I enjoy the company of your penis
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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