Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
