and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
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