I think I am morally bankrupt
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
