put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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