I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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