I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
