NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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