ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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