Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
