Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
