I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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