I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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