5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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