in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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