Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Let's get the cat blown out
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
