so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
