K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
and she was petting her beer can
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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