my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
where am i from again
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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