i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
