You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
