how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
