Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
