yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
It was confusing and full of hummus
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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