Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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