I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
