ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
This is the high leading the old right now
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
