I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
