I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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