I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
