I'm going to rape someone's good day.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
