Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
