We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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