are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
