NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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