i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Randomize
