My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
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He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
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Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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