its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
