I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
