i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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