i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
