So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
