we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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