I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
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when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
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My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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