Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
i've created a new STD.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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