And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I didn't notice because vodka
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Dear god my vagina.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
