I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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