3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
