did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
