Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
