I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize