im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
