im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
so much tequila, so little girl.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
