I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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