She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
