i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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