dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
