it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
