I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
