Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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