The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Randomize
