Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
nutella sex= disaster
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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