I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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