carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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