If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I can't put those talents on a resume
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.